Conversations and thoughts that have lead me to think about it. I think the dichotomy of the two words like and love restricts a lot of things. And conversations with previous lovers have always made me confused about what sets apart these two things. I remember talking to my ex and her talking about the feeling of being in love and me mentioning that I’d already felt that about her before we got together so was I already in love then? It confused me so much and that has always stayed with me, ruminating and cooking in the back of my mind.

I’d never thought about the differences much and never took it as heavy and strongly as most people do. Its always been light for me saying that to another person and I think people around me dhoen lu ya it was the same. I think language we use shapes our perspectives so much. If we had no language would we even be having thoughts.

I think all of our thoughts can only take shape of the containers that our languages allow. And our languages shape the world around us, the words we speak come to reality through our actions. Was talking with my friend yesterday and she told me about seeing love as the same intense feeling of truly liking someone only after you’ve seen each and every part of them and you can still say that about them.

It made a lot of sense but yet at the same time, at that point I would marry that person in the blink of an eye. And I think that is love true but maybe on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. The penultimate form of it. I think whats helped me is learning that sanskrit has 5-6 different forms of love and how the language allows the full spectrum of physical and emotional feelings for someone else. For example anuraga for a deep and abiding attachment or affection that persist over time. Priti a sense of contentment derived from a deep connection with someone else.

Idk at the end of the day, feelings for me have always been so attached to physical reactions. I’ve said i love yous and they’ve viscerally felt right in my body. Yet at the same time i’ve always never thought about them as deep words. Always taken them lightly.

And I think I could connect why i’ve never felt so strongly about it because there is only one word for like, love and everything in between in dzongkha and bumthap. Nga choelu ga, ngad waydho gat ta. And when its the same words uttered from a time of confession to 10 years of being together. The word becomes much lighter to me.